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11/07/2002 Entry: "Alexander DeLarge As Jag Spokesman"
Spin of the Day gave me an idea for a new Jaguar commercial. If you're going to go for the badboy image, why stop at muic - go straight to film, I say, my brothers. Alexander DeLarge is the spokesman you want, and Clockwork Orange with that kickass driving scene was custom-made for selling Jags....
Open with Clockwork Orange, Durango 95 scene. Of course it is assumed all images of the Durango 95 would be replaced with Jaguar images through the magic of CGI...
Alex: The Jaguar X-whatever purred away real horrorshow, a nice warm vibratey feeling all through your guttiwots.
Show a couple seconds of Alex and the droogs driving about. Gotta get a few seconds of that intense shot of McDowell driving ! Mandatory useless car commercial announcer crap would go here. Big engine, fast car, helps with the old in-and-out, blah, blah, blah.
Alex: We fillied around with the other travelers of the night, playing Hogs of the Road.
Show scene of the bike going off the road, maybe the van crashing. Some more useless announcer verbage: year end clearence, visit our web site, blah blah blah
Alex: Then we headed west. What we were after now was the old surprise visit. That was a real kick, and good for laughs.
The Jaguar X-whatever pulls up to HOME. Alex and the droogs get out and approach the house. Cut to the scene of Alex coming home, plopping on the bed, and emptying his pockets into the drawer, and getting his snake. The background poster and bloody-eyeball cuffIinks would probably have to be CGI'd out, but the drawer contents are a must, an absolute must. The snake may make the commercial too long. I can't decide.
P.S. Note the car used in the film got 55 mpg, and I'm guessing, had no cupholders. Also don't miss the Whomobile page. The sidebar's a hoot. Or would that be a whoot. I can't decide.
