Friday, March 1, 02002
I reread Zot #33 last night. It's still my favorite comic ever. Go Terry. Rah Rah.
Posted at 07:47 PM EST [Link][Comment]
A terrorist cell has been uncovered in Montana.
Meanwhile, in a rare ray of sanity, Katie Sierra gets some help from the ACLU.
Posted at 07:20 PM EST [Link][Comment]
Sing along with the The John Ashcroft Songbook.
The scariest thing about the attorney general's singing isn't his lyrics, which are to be expected, and not even that he had the time to come up with the song in the first place. It's the enormous amount of gusto he put into the performance. His gusto scares me. And I'm not talking "oh-oh, call your senator, and quick send cash and stocks to the left" scared. I'm talking, "the kids aren't ever going to his house at Halloween" type scared.
Posted at 02:15 AM EST [Link][Comment]
Thursday, February 28, 02002
Sigh. The Washington Post should just replace the headlines they've been using everyday for the past 15 months or so with the regular expression "(Israelis|Palestinians) kill [1-9][0-9]* today".
There are just so many variations on the same headline.
Meanwhile, in India, Muslims and Hindis are out bathing in blood. Lots and lots of blood.
Posted at 02:35 PM EST [Link][Comment]
Tuesday, February 26, 02002
The gospel according to John (Ashcroft).
Posted at 07:00 PM EST [Link][Comment]
Ughh. Thanks to the various people who reminded me that I've turned 0x22 today. There might be a picture available if my brother gets around to e-mailing it to me. This year has got to be better since 0x21 was just an oozing open sore from about March 8th onward.
Posted at 12:06 AM EST [Link][Comment]
Monday, February 25, 02002
Today's whacky post dives into a little theological fan fiction via CSI:
The episode opens with Grissom and Sara having lunch in a deli. They talking shop, something about maggots and bodily decay, much to the chagrin of the other customers around them, when in walks the episode's first special guest star John Ashcroft, playing himself.
Grissom takes the opportunity to criticize the attorney general's apparent inabilty to separate church and state. This goes in for a few minutes, much to the delight of viewers everywhere, when suddenly in walks the Lord God Almightly, maker of heaven and earth, of all that is seen and unseen walks. He orders a tuna salad on rye. The Lord is played by the one and only Anthony Hopkins.
Now, what would the reactions of these characters be towards Mr Almighty. I imagine Ashcroft would fall to his knees and start singing hymns-a-plenty. If he didn't fall about entirely, he might ask Mr Almighty for an authograph, or perhaps some sort of blessing.
But our CSI's would have a much different reaction. Grissom would pull out his handy wallet-sized PATRIOT Act card, and scans down to section 803 concerning haboring and concealing terrorists. Hmm, omnipresence, all knowing gods would certainly have some knowledge of terrorist activites, so His silence both before and after the attacks is questionable at best. "Mr Almighty, do you mind if you come down to the lab for some questions. We have some open cases you might be able to help us on..
And with that, our plucky heros are working the case. They don't have time to worry about nude statues, or what the agenda for tomorrow's prayer meeting will be. Before Ashcroft's third Our Father, Sara's got that tuna salad sandwich bagged, and she's collecting fingerprints and hair samples. She's on her cell phone back to the lab, getting ready for a semon test, since she's pretty sure immaculate conceptions are still against the law in most southern states.
By the end of the episode, our heros have gathered enough evidence that Mr Almighty is in a straight jacket, being wheeled out on a pushcart to to a plane headed for Guantanamo Bay. As the credits roll, we see Ashcroft still in the deli, by this time blathering incoherently, in tongues perhaps, about his encounter with his God.
Posted at 10:37 AM EST [Link][Comment]
