Tuesday, May 7, 02002
In celebration of Gary Snyder's birthday, the blog has a new byline from the Smokey the Bear Sutra.
Posted at 11:02 PM EST [Link][Comment]
Apparently I offended some members of my family with my "ughhh" comments from a while back. So without further ado, here is the story of the only unpleasant part of my recent trip down to Alabama:
The plane was coming into Washington airspace, and the pilot's telling us for the third or fourth time that fasten-seatbelts light was going to be turned on really soon, and we wouldn't be able to get up after that. Very Bad Things would happen if we got up after the light was on. Very,Very Bad Things. So go to the bathroom now, while you still have the chance. Meanwhile we are flying into a storm. It's getting darker by the second. The mood on the plane is a bit tense. People are eyeing each other, looking for that terrorist tell. The light goes on, and almost immediately the plane runs into turbulence.
Suddenly some woman about two rows back bursts out laughing. "Oh this is so funny, listen to this...." and she starts reading somethng aloud, but she starts cracking up again before she can finish the sentence. "Oh this is hillarious..." Ha, ha,.. and then she starts reading another passage and bursts out again. Her companion asks what she's reading. "Big Trouble, by Dave Barry, Oh it's the funniest thing I ever read" and then she starts to unsuccessfully read another line. I cannot begin to describe how annoying it is to listen to this woman not be able to finish a single sentence. To make matters worst, she was a horrible reader. There's no inflection, no flow, she's stumbling over every other word. I pity her children, if she had any. I hope they like Where's Waldo books.
After a couple minutes of this I starting wondering if this could be some sort of guerilla marketing technique. Plant someone on the plane, wait until they're in a position they can't get away, and just start making your pitch. Work that book, Loudmouth ! The passengers will all hate you, but make everyone wonder what the fuss is all about ! Work it !
By this time, it's raining pretty hard out, and people are starting to send evil glances back her way. I try and get a glimpse myself, but she's directly behind me. I'm content she's not in the exit row. She's starting to freak me out a little. I'm expecting the attendent come around and inject her with something.
But it gets worse. Her companion doesn't know who Dave Berry is. Loudmouth starts retelling half-remembered Dave Berry articles. And still she starts cracking up before she can finish a sentence ! The articles were not funny in the first place. To have them munged by someone who can't even complete a thought is excruciating painful. "There was this one article, it was Father's Day, no Mother's Day and went into the kitchen and, no, no it was the bathroom, no the kitchen and hah hahahaha hahaha hahaha....and then bah bahaha......" I'm wondering if I ask, maybe they'd inject me with something instead. Anything to not have to hear this woman anymore.
Well eventually she runs out of steam, and the plane lands and it's thirty degrees cooler in DC than it was in Alabama and I shiver all the way back to my apartment, having brought no coat with me on my trip south. And that's was the only unpleasant aspect of the trip down to Alabama.
Posted at 12:01 AM EST [Link][Comment]
Monday, May 6, 02002
My parents will be glad to hear that I went to the Washington Cathedral tonight. There was an interfaith vigil for peace in the Middle East there tonight. I wanted to hear what the religious community's idea of peace was. Longtime readers can get on with your surfing - you know what's coming.....
For an interfaith peace vigil, the readings they chose seemed amazinging inappropriate, even hostile.
The Jewish reading included this selection from Isaiah 35:
Strengthen the weak hands and make firm the feeble knees. Say to those who are of a fearful heart, "Be Strong, do not fear ! Here is your God. He will come with a vengence, with terribile recompense. He will come and save you."
And for the Qur'an, we heard this gem from chapter 3 of Surah Al Imran
And their Lord responded to them (and He Says): Lo ! I waste not the work of the worker, male or female, as you proceed one from another. So those who fled and were driven forth from their homes and suffereed damage for My cause, and fought and were slain, verily I shall remit their evil deeds from them and verily I shall bring them into Gardens underneath which rivers flow - A reward from Allah. And with Allah is the fairest of rewards.
As for the Christian reading, it wasn't inflamatory, but it was from Revelations, and all that end-of-the-world mumbo-jumbo really isn't very conducive to peace at all - it doesn't matter what you do, sooner or later God's just going to call 'game over dude'.
All the little homilies after the readings were pushing the Alexandria Declaration, which sounds like a step in the right direction.
But the absolute worst part of the service when they brought out the little kids to sing. Their song was extremely depressing, especially coming from the mouths of babes. It presented classic codependent theology: Maybe if I just please Him more, He'll go back to being the loving god I used to know, instead of the vengeful prick He is now:
There's so much confusion in the world today,
That people don't known where to go;
But, we know the answer's just one prayer away -
It's up to us to let them know.
We've got to pray a little harder,
And love a little stronger,
And CRY OUT - a little louder,
Show the people that we care
Let's try and save the world.
Let's try and save the world.
Let's try and save the WORLD.
But the little tyke's hearts were just not into it. The words were being dragged out of them. "Let's trrrrry and saaaave the world", oh but I'm sooo tired, and I'm missing the Simpons right now, and I have a spelling test tomorrow, let me just go hommmmme......
Sigh. I doubt I'll be going to any other prayer vigils anytime soon. I don't know why I bothered this time.
Posted at 12:46 AM EST [Link][Comment]
