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08/07/2003 Entry: "The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest Submission I Will Never Actually Follow Through On"

Write what you know, they say, so here's the first line from my future novel "RTFN!":

Standing in front of the breakroom vending machine late one night, Robert thought there are some code reviews where the submitter is trying to follow the process, and then there are those like CRS#54678 where the code probably wouldn't compile, and even if it did build, it most certainly would screw up all the regression tests, and no doubt embedded in the middle of all those craptastic changes there was a release form authorizing the thugs from Testing to come carve out his liver with the breakroom plasticware, after which he would lay all night in his cube in a puddle of his own blood and piss until his manager found him in the morning, and drug him off to the daily bug scrub meeting, unshowered, unshaven, and liverless.